The Past Few Months: An Update

It's been a wild quarantine so far. For others it's meant being stuck at home, for many of the chronically ill and disabled it's more of the same but with more people we know complaining. For me, it's been a different experience entirely. When Covid-19 hit, not only did I lose my job, I lost my treatment center and the potential for a new living situation this year (aka, my home).

My physical & mental health spiraled out of control really fast and I ended up being hospitalized for over 2 weeks. I experienced a rare brief psychotic episode, and it's safe to say feeling unsafe in your own mind is absolutely fucking terrifying - thankfully I have amazing parents who were able to advocate on my behalf that I wasn't insane or tripping on drugs and we were able to get me the help I needed. We also discovered during this time that I have Bipolar disorder - and have probably gone un-diagnosed since my early teen years.

Not 3 weeks after I was sent home to recover in the midst of a Covid-pocolypse I discovered my mouth was host to an impacted & infected wisdom tooth which needed emergency removal. But before it could be removed I had to spend a week on antibiotics due to the infection spreading past my neck's lymph node - this was also the last week I got to spend with my adopted grandma, Norene. The week I spent recovering was when the world lost a true legend and had no clue. 

I'm beyond grateful for the precious time I got to spend with her before her health spiraled down for the last time. Cancer is truly an unforgiving bitch. Grandma Norene means so much more to me than I can write down, but ultimately she taught me that humor, hard work, and love for your family (and maybe a stiff vodka with a splash of water) is all you need in life. During her final lucid hours I spent time talking, singing, and lamenting about life with her in ways I've never done or felt close enough to do with my other grandmothers. 

When we finally lost her I was numb in the jaw and numb in my heart. The toughest woman I know held on a week longer than we all thought she would, giving time to grieve while she was still with us. Due to The 'Rona, she still hasn't had a memorial service, but when she does I'll still be upset that the whole world isn't there to bear witness to how many lives this amazing woman touched.

After Cancer took another life from this earth, the rest of the world kept spinning and Covid-19 rules on openings in Seattle got moved from Phase 1 (everything shut down) to Phase 2 (everything opened with extreme safety restrictions) and I knew it was time to start applying for jobs again. Keep in mind that because fraudsters got to 650 million dollars before most Washingtonians, I had been unable to make any money besides that one  stimulus check that went straight to rent. I felt it was finally the time to try again for a job, which specifically needed to be a no-nonsense desk job or something 100% WFH.

The stars finally aligned and though I thought I was getting a 100% WFH position due to a miscommunication between the staffing service and the hiring company, I did find the cushiest desk job that exists in the city of Seattle. And for the first time in my life I'm working a graveyard shift. I have to admit, at first it seemed really intimidating, but now that I'm in it, I think it might be the perfect answer to working around my Chronic Fatigue. I'm sure like with any job it's not perfect, but right now it's a hella good way to make $19.10/hr. On top of it all, I turned 28 the week I started this new position and got to spend some quality time with my family and out in Mother Nature.

For the time being, I keep up with therapy through telehealth medicine calls, my friends through zoom & facetime, and my self-care any way that I can. Due to meds that make me gain weight and I'm trying to ween off of and another severe diet change, yes...I've gained the Covid-19 pounds that many of us have. But amongst other things I've gained (besides a few lbs) that I don't want to lose this summer *or ever really* are perspective, self-love, appreciation for my support system & family, and my coping skills. 

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